It is hard to believe that I sit here watching my beautiful 14 month old who not so long ago was a helpless newborn. How quickly the time goes and I realize that before I'm ready you're going to be a teenage girl. Being a mommy who is currently working with teenage girls, and having been one once a very long time ago, there are a few things that I want to tell you before you hit those rough years full of teenage angst. Bear with me as some of these things you won't understand right away but I hope that you'll treasure them later on when it counts.
1. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself- As a teenage girl others will always make you feel inadequate. Someone will call you ugly, fat, stupid, or any other myriad of insults. As your mother I would like nothing more than to protect you, and quite frankly find the person who said it to you and make them suffer, but I can't do that. You are at a cross roads a time when you have to learn to stand up for yourself, tell that person to shut up, grow up, or just walk away. Do not let their words undermine or mold who you are, ignore those people and continue on. There will always be someone in your life who will try to make you feel small but if you learn to stand up for yourself now those things won't matter later on.
2. Be proud of who you are- You may like something others don't, you may be just a little different than your peers in one way or another. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean you should too. Discover who you are and what you like in these years as they will be influential in determining who you are as an adult. Just because you may be the odd man out now doesn't mean it'll always be that way. A funny thing happens when you're an adult that people start to see the unique qualities in you and appreciate you for those things so don't lose them just because your teenage peers disagree.
3. Find healthy relationships- When seeking friends find those who bring out the best in you. There will be people who pressure you to do what they want or something you don't want to do, these people are not your friends. Anyone who is pressuring you to do something contrary to what you believe isn't your friend. Seek out those people who will love and accept you without questioning your decisions or pressuring you into something that you know is wrong! Find friendships that are healthy where you give as much love and support as you take, where as friends you can learn and grow together without drama.
4. Boys- Ugh... My knee jerk reaction is to say "avoid them like the plague" but I know that isn't feasible. You're going to be curious about boys and relationships with boys. As a teenager make friends with many different male peers but don't be anxious to get into a dating relationship. Your teenage years are meant for fun and learning about the qualities you would like to have in a future commited relationship. Most teenage romantic relationships are rushed and can lead to physical or emotional situations that cause irreparable damage, have lots of boy friends but try to avoid the exclusivity of a boyfriend. You have your whole life to be in a relationship with a boy/man and now is the time to enjoy having fun with them as friends. Which brings me to my next point...
5. Having a boyfriend does not give you value- Too many teenage girls believe that if they don't have a boyfriend that makes them a loser or inferior to others who have a boyfriend. Your value will never ever (and I can't emphasize that enough) be determined by anyone else! Your value will never come from a boyfriend or popularity but rather how you feel about yourself.
6. Remember you can always talk to your parents- We are here for you no matter what, ask us those burning questions, tell us what's going on in your life, bring us your problems, and be honest with us. We may not always like the things you tell us but I promise we will always listen.
7. Never forget how much we love you- I can promise that in your teenage years there will be times that you are angry with your parents because we are "mean ". I wouldn't be a parent if there weren't times that I was mean and told you no to things you wanted but never forget that everything we do is because we love you.
8. Your divine potential is limitless- You have a Father in Heaven who loves you unconditionally and the potential that you have is limitless. Never forget you're a Daughter of God!
3. Find healthy relationships- When seeking friends find those who bring out the best in you. There will be people who pressure you to do what they want or something you don't want to do, these people are not your friends. Anyone who is pressuring you to do something contrary to what you believe isn't your friend. Seek out those people who will love and accept you without questioning your decisions or pressuring you into something that you know is wrong! Find friendships that are healthy where you give as much love and support as you take, where as friends you can learn and grow together without drama.
4. Boys- Ugh... My knee jerk reaction is to say "avoid them like the plague" but I know that isn't feasible. You're going to be curious about boys and relationships with boys. As a teenager make friends with many different male peers but don't be anxious to get into a dating relationship. Your teenage years are meant for fun and learning about the qualities you would like to have in a future commited relationship. Most teenage romantic relationships are rushed and can lead to physical or emotional situations that cause irreparable damage, have lots of boy friends but try to avoid the exclusivity of a boyfriend. You have your whole life to be in a relationship with a boy/man and now is the time to enjoy having fun with them as friends. Which brings me to my next point...
5. Having a boyfriend does not give you value- Too many teenage girls believe that if they don't have a boyfriend that makes them a loser or inferior to others who have a boyfriend. Your value will never ever (and I can't emphasize that enough) be determined by anyone else! Your value will never come from a boyfriend or popularity but rather how you feel about yourself.
6. Remember you can always talk to your parents- We are here for you no matter what, ask us those burning questions, tell us what's going on in your life, bring us your problems, and be honest with us. We may not always like the things you tell us but I promise we will always listen.
7. Never forget how much we love you- I can promise that in your teenage years there will be times that you are angry with your parents because we are "mean ". I wouldn't be a parent if there weren't times that I was mean and told you no to things you wanted but never forget that everything we do is because we love you.
8. Your divine potential is limitless- You have a Father in Heaven who loves you unconditionally and the potential that you have is limitless. Never forget you're a Daughter of God!
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