"Mommy, why are her eyes so crossed?" I cringed when I heard it.
We had decided to take a little expedition that day to visit a fish hatchery viewing station and have a picnic. Our intention was just to have a little family time but what was going to be an easy going fun day made me feel anxious when the little girl next to us started looking at my daughter. The little girl was probably not much older than 5 years old so the questions were innocent enough but after about the 4th time that she pointed out to her mom, and everyone around us, that my daughter looked cross eyed I was ready to bolt. I grabbed my child and got out of there as fast as possible.
At the time I couldn't figure out why this incident bothered me so much. I just kept thinking "this shouldn't bother me this much, should it?" You see my husband and I have known for a long time that something about our daughter's eyes has been "off". She had seen a pediatric ophthalmologist several times prior to this incident and been diagnosed with esotropia, a condition where the inside muscles of her eyes are stronger than the outside making her eyes turn in at varying times and making her appear cross eyed, or like she has a lazy eye. We had been told surgery was the only way to fix it and fully intend on having the procedure done. This issue was known, the appearance of our daughter's cross eye(s) is something we knew, so why would the comments of a little girl bother me so much? It finally dawned on me weeks later.
We live in a society that is unforgiving of appearance. If a person is too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, has crooked teeth, crossed eyes, acne, big nose, big ears, etc (the list could go on and on!) they are shunned or humiliated. Why is that okay? Why do people, myself included, tend to alienate those people? I realized that deep in my heart I am terrified not just of my daughter having vision problems because of this disorder but of the humiliation she would endure because she looks a little different. As much as I wish that weren't true I know that if it isn't fixed she will endure teasing at the hands of others who just don't understand.
This thought has weighed on my mind since then but I had a defining moment today that made me realize an eternal truth. As I sat in quiet meditation in one of my church meetings it dawned on me that I will never love my daughter less because of her eyes. I will never think of her as being less of a person because of a flaw that isn't her fault. When people look on her outward appearance and wonder "what is wrong with her?" they are making an unfair assumption. If someone really knew my daughter they'd see her spunky, funny, spirited, and loving nature not a pair of crossed eyes. Though my daughter's eyes are crossed at times those eyes will always be beautiful to me because I know who is really behind them. Judging someone by their outside appearance is not only unfair but just plain wrong. We all come with flaws, and judging others because of their obvious flaws doesn't make us better. There are many people who may not be what our society deems physically attractive but are amazing on the inside. We have so much more to offer than just a pretty face or nice body.
Ultimately what I took away from this all is that we have a Heavenly Father who feels the same way about us as I do about my daughter. No matter what he will never love us less because of our flaws. To look upon another person and dismiss or embarrass them because something appears "off" about them makes us shallow. I am making a vow today to change the way I see people, to no longer judge by their outward appearance but to look at their heart.
