I have a confession to make, I am burned out. No really, I'm not just saying that as one of those people who had a bad day and say "I think I'm burned out." I'm saying if you look at the clinical definition of burned out: "An emotional condition marked by tiredness, loss of interest, or frustration that interferes with job performance. Burnout is usually regarded as the result of prolonged stress." (Mosbys Medical Dictionay) I am BURNED OUT.
What people fail to realize about me is that I have multiple jobs. Not jobs in the traditional sense of going to a place of employment and getting paid for ones time spent working there, but rather jobs in the non-traditional sense. Things that people don't necessarily consider a "job". When I go to school, my traditional job, I have so many people say "Gee it must be nice only working part time. I wonder what I would do with that much time off." I really seriously consider punching them in the throat.
While on the surface it appears that I only work 2-3 days a week at the school then spend the rest of the days at home in leisure and time playing with my toddler their delusion runs deep. You see while I am only working part time at my traditional job I am holding down 2 additional full time jobs, the job of mommy and of housekeeper. If you look at that math I'm essentially working 2 1/2 jobs! Wow!! While I felt I have held down all of these jobs fairly well, not perfectly by any means, I feel myself slipping in all of them.
As a teacher I have 100+ research papers sitting on the front seat of my car waiting to be graded, they haven't moved since Friday and probably won't move again until I'm back at school Tuesday, honestly I'm tempted to throw in the movie "Ethan Frome" and just spend the day grading instead of teaching, is there a parallel I could draw between "Ethan Frome" and "Frozen"??
As a mommy I generally try to bring educational activities into our day in order to have a healthy and smart child but lately "Frozen" seems to find its way into our daily routine far too often, what can I say she loves the music and I'm not opposed to it either. I often feel guilty too because there is a small sense of relief when bedtime finally arrives because it means I'm not chasing a very busy and very active toddler around (today's adventure "Look mommy crayons go in the toilet!!!" ARGH who left that door open?? Oh it was me.)
As a housekeeper I do okay with maintaining a clean and orderly household, all family members get fed and bills get paid on time but that's beginning to slip too (Eggo waffles for dinner? Let's add some sugar to that sugar?) Maybe its just me but I'm beginning to think I own my own aquarium thanks to all the Goldfish Crackers on the floor, I mean how could I vacuum them up? Their little smiles are so cute!
The worst part of burn out? Not having any desire to edit my book. I'm so close to being done! I can feel the editing ending but the will to persist has evaporated, maybe summer will bring it back? I certainly hope so...
I wish I could say I know how to conquer my burnout and once more be on top of my game but I'm afraid it will persist until summer break. In the meantime if anyone would like to donate some cash and watch my very busy, very active toddler (see above) for a few hours so I can go shopping it would be greatly appreciated!
