Romance eludes me!

I have always loved the movie "Singing in the Rain".  It combines elements of musical, humor, and storytelling so well it just makes me smile!  One of my favorite scenes in the movie is when Gene Kelly's character is premiering his first ever "talkie" film, he's always been a silent film star so it's the first film where he's heard talking.  He didn't like the lines written in one of the romance scenes so he replaced it with the line "I love you, I love you, I love you." and it comes across as completely ridiculous and cheesy as is evidenced by the audiences roaring laughter and later the poor reviews.  The romance of the scene is completely lost on the audience because of the goofiness of it all.

We've all seen the movies or read the books where the two characters initially hate each other then through a series of romantic gestures, or one large one, they find that the love they wanted was there all along!  It's so sweet and thoughtful but quite frankly it makes me nauseous.  I have never liked those kinds of movies and reading books dripping with romance give me a bad case of excuse-me-while-I-vomit-itis.  Maybe its because I never experienced a lot of romance, maybe its because I don't believe that a good relationship is based on romance, maybe its because after being married for almost 10 years romance in our household is "let's order pizza", or perhaps its a combination of all of those things but I just don't know how to write romance.  I'm really struggling to make the relationship meaningful without it being so sickeningly sweet or worse goofy to the point of "I love you, I love you, I love you!"  Readers how do you do romance?  What romantic gestures have you witnessed or experienced that were meaningful and not too sweet?  I need some help!

I will never be a Tolkien!

As a teenager my natural reading affinity was science fiction, anything Star Wars, Star Trek, or similar to Ender's Game was something I would read voraciously.  The fall after I graduated high school I started seeing previews for a movie called "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring".  I thought it looked interesting and went to see it, well that was the beginning of my new obsession and it is one that I don't ever see myself outgrowing.  I couldn't get enough of dragons, elves, dwarves, and wizards!  The world of sci-fi was a fun place to be but I felt the world of fantasy is where I truly belonged.  Watching Lord of the Rings made me feel like I had come home and though Middle Earth was very troubled I found myself wishing to be a Lady Galadriel.

Over the next year I read all three books at least 3 times, sadly I haven't read all of them since them, book two and three but not one but I digress.  My own stories are often rich with the world of fantasy and magic including my current Nano book.  I've always felt fairly competent in the writing of fantasy but tonight I made the mistake of putting in The Hobbit movie while I write.  I felt competent before but now I feel completely inadequate, my own writings will only ever be a speck compared to the grandeur of Tolkien's genius!  Seeing the epic scope of Middle Earth and the vision of Tolkien makes me realize just how insignificant my own writings will be, my only hope is that maybe by creating the skeleton of the story through Nano I can flesh out the chunks of the story that might make it a rich fantasy.  Will I ever be a Tolkien?  In my wildest dreams sure, but in reality I never will be Tolkien!

However as I watch the dwarves and "master Baggins" climb the slopes of a mountain I feel once more that I am in a world where I belong. So for now excuse me as I snuggle under a warm blanket, put away the lap top, and walk with the dwarves!

Whiny Walrus!

My daughter loves to watch this show called Leap Frog and one of the cartoons (available on Netflix, my best friend!) is named Phonics Farm.  The premise is that the main characters Scout, Violet, Eli, & Penny have to guess which animal is behind each letter so for example behind the letter is A is an athletic alligator, K is a kissing kangaroo, and so forth.  Behind the letter W is the Whiny Walrus, I hate that Walrus!  He definitely whines and when he comes on the screen I cringe because he's annoying.  Well I realized today that somehow, somewhere, I turned into the whiny walrus!!  Yesterday was an especially hard day, not any one specific thing just one of those days where the weight of the world hangs heavy on your shoulders and you feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  

As I laid in bed last night and reflected on the day I could hear my brain whining: "I hate being the mean teacher sometimes. Why are teenagers so obnoxious?  Why won't my daughter eat her baby food?  I am so sick of breastfeeding.  I wish I had money to buy Christmas presents." it goes on and on but the one thought that really got to me was, "I was 300 words short of my Nano goal today."  then I realized right then and there that I was the whiny walrus!  My brain said, "I hate that walrus!  Why are you being that Walrus?"  and my response was, "You're right brain. Stupid walrus." 

It is human to be whiny, it is human to be discouraged, it is human to feel like you're spinning your wheels but the way we choose to deal with it is entirely up to us.  I have been so self absorbed in my own misery my inner walrus came out and it is time for me to grab my whaling equipment and harpoon that walrus.  (metaphorically of course!)  So today I resolve to be better!  So far it has been a good day, I spent most of the morning with my Grandma which I thoroughly enjoy, and I swear this afternoon will be better.  I may not get the house clean today, I may not get my Nano done today, and I may not get dinner cooked tonight but doggone it I'm resolving not to whine today!  Readers join me for just today in killing that whiny walrus and making the choice to be happy.

P.S. If anyone would like to watch a beautiful and busy one year old for a few hours so I can catch up on my Nano word count I would consider it a great act of service!! :)

Nano Numbers & the Underwear Gnomes.

It is day 11 of the Nano challenge and holy cow!  This has been such an amazing experience for me, really it has, I have found more inspiration in just sitting and writing than in any other writing method I've tried before; that said Nano just might kill me.

You see, I'm a neat freak.  I love a clean and orderly house.  My dishes are almost always done immediately, toys picked up before bedtime, lunches packed, clothes set out the night before, and laundry folded and put away. Nano writing has cut into a lot of the time I used to spend doing those things.  I've done a pretty good job the last 11 days of putting on blinders and pretending like those things don't exist but today as I got out of the shower I got into my drawers and thought, "did the underwear gnomes strike again?"  (the underwear gnomes are creatures related to the sock trolls.  Sock trolls steal socks in the dryer, that's why there is always one sock and never a pair, whereas the underwear gnomes are particularly fond of well, underwear!) Alas when I looked in my laundry basket I found it wasn't the supernatural conspiring against me, there legitimately wasn't many pairs of under garments that weren't dirty.  "Great!  Thank you Nano gods for keeping from my stack of laundry!"  Ugh, the inability to stay on top of it makes my eyes twitch!!

Now I'm happy to report that I did meet my Nano numbers today however there is a GIANT stack of laundry on the bed waiting to be folded.  Wish those dang gnomes would fold once in a while, completely worthless keeping mythical creatures around when they do nothing to contribute.  In the meantime I guess it's time for some Netflix and folding but just keep in mind if you see my eye twitching I'm not angry it's the supernatural plotting to take me down!

The End?

As an avid reader those two words, the end, have always given me a sad sense of loss.  Some of the most memorable moments of my life ended with those words; the end of Harry Potter, the end of the Nicholas Flamel series, the end of Narnia, even the end of "The Office" tv series, all left me feeling like a friend had moved across the country never to return.

I find it rather ironic that tonight those words have had the opposite effect, I have never in all my life been so happy to see "the end"!  I did it, I FINALLY finished my 1st book!  The minute I typed those words I sat back in my chair and said, "Holy crap." (though it sounded much more like "Hoooooooooly Craaaaap!!!") What a relief!  I'm not looking forward to the editing part of this endeavor but for now I'm basking in the glory that is the end.

The good thing is that I don't yet have to say goodbye to my characters, there is a book two!  I hadn't planned on a book two but as odd as it sounds my characters told me tonight there was more and there needed to be a book two.  So I'm listening to the voices in my head and pushing forward, hope the end of book two comes sooner than the first!

The long hard road

It's only day 5 of my Nano challenge and already it's feeling like a long hard journey.  I'm approximately 8,000+ words into it and know that I have many more words to go yet I'm starting to feel excited.  You see I took on this challenge hoping that the motivation would force me to finish a book that has been simmering in my imagination for more than 6 years, rotting on my hard drive for at least 5 years, and waiting to be finished.  Now I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff looking out and there just over the next bump is the end of the journey.  I can see the end of the story!!!  I am almost there!  Holy Crap!  I can't wait until the post that says THE END but in the meantime I'm going to sprint my way over the long hard road and make it to my destination.  I may metaphorically kiss the ground once I'm there just so I can be proud of my accomplishment but more realistically I'll probably work on filling out my 50,000 word count by finishing another of my *ahem* many books that I have started to write and never finished.  Although I'm sad to say that the characters are just now telling me there will be a book 2 in this set so perhaps book two will need a beginning, we shall see!  In the meantime I think I need some potato chips and chocolate milk. Happy writing all!

A Nano teaser!

Day 1 of Nano I've done 1,677 words!  Woo hoo, great start to hopefully what will prove to be a great experience.  Here's a teaser from what I wrote on my Nano novel today:

“I was 21 years old when he took me.  I trusted him, I thought he would allow me to rest.  You see the battle had been so hard that day and I was so tired.  I had just lost my brother and my lover in one fell swoop, I thought I could take him on but I just couldn’t.  When he offered to let me rest I assumed he was taking pity and feeling remorse for his actions.  I believed that bastard.”  Elline drew her knees up to her chest.  “He came in the night, he killed my army, he took me prisoner.” Her eyes glazed over as if she was seeing a different time and a different place.  “The things that happened then…”  Elline moaned pitifully, her body physically shaking.  Asha reached out and touched Elline’s arm.  They sat in silence for a moment as Elline rubbed her face, muttering to herself.

Please remember it is rough but at this point to just get it out of my head and onto paper is the most important thing I can do.  Hooray for encouragement, here's hoping the momentum continues.